New Year Happiness Manifesto {Do you have one?}
I am determined to make 2010 NOT suck ass like …say… the last +/-500 days or so have. It’s not that I am not happy, it’s just been hard. I have to be honest, as the New Year drew near I was making the attempt to be excited about the arrival of Twenty-Ten. Mr. D saw it as a reminder of how suck-a-riffic our last 500 days have been. Which goes back to my point from yesterday. It’s all about your viewpoint, isn’t it?
I don’t know exactly what it is I said on Twitter, but sometimes if you make a statement with a key word – it will inspire others with the same interest to follow you. Yesterday I was followed by a multitude of goal-maker-happiness-aficionados. Following motivational speakers isn’t really my style. It’s sort of like professing yourself a Social Media Guru. Call me cynical, but who in the world is really an expert at being happy?
During my search for self-fulfillment {LOL – It’s ridiculous that you can google and find happiness!} I stumbled onto a blog and book called The Happiness Project. A particularly interesting post was called ‘Why it is hard to know what you find fun.’ The Happiness Project says “…if you’re trying to figure out what to do as a job or as a hobby, it helps to ask yourself, what do I actually do, when I have some free time? Really examine it. Be honest. Not what you think you should be doing, but what you actually do with yourself, and enjoy, and captures you interest. What’s true for you is not true for everyone — and that’s significant.” She also says “You can choose what you do, but you can’t choose what you like to do.” Both are good points. So I ask myself, what is it that I really like to do?
Before I got married I was more spontaneous. You can do that when you are not accountable to another person. When we got married, I changed my career so that I could travel with Mr. D. I wanted to nurture my husband, our relationship, and support my mate so that he could excel at his job. Don’t get me wrong, I would never trade in my relationship for spontaneity. I just find myself (now that his job is no longer in existence) wondering what it is that I am doing in this business that was built around supporting his career.
To me, it is just interesting to step back and examine what it is that I am doing, how I am spending my time and if it is making me happy. If you don’t like what you are doing, you should change it because you can. Have you ever heard the one about life being short, and how you should make it count?
If you’re like me and looking for inspiration to get started: Gwen Bell wrote an interesting piece on creating your own personal manifesto. Cyd Converse is taking part in the 101 in 1001 project. Both blog posts are worth a look-see. You might also like to check out the blog called Makeunder My Life. I may be a week behind in pronouncing my goals for Twenty-Ten, but worry-not! I have definitely been ruminating on a few. In my opinion… better to be fashionably late than miss the party all-together!
{Images via Etsy, LoveTrains, and Etsy}
Posted by Amy Beth Cupp Dragoo / concept and Personal and Uncategorized
 |
 |
 |
Lydia, Clueless Crafter on 05 Jan 2010 at 9:59 am
Twitter: @Art_Style
Knitastic! Ruminate, gesticulate, ruminate, gesticulate. . .and wham! You pointed your way toward you. In my book, it’s all been about spontaneous flailing, an exercise that has never led me astray (though it has gotten many laughs at a cocktail party or two). I think our boats are floating near the other; it’s just a matter of time before we dive in!
ABC Dragoo on 05 Jan 2010 at 11:18 am
Twitter: @abcddesigns
Lydia, I actually had a side note in this post about how you helped me to articulate that bit about building my business around supporting my husband’s career. Thank you for walking through it with me yesterday.
I love that you “get it” no need for explanation!
I’d love to dive in, but I must admit that I am not a good swimmer … do you have a set of blow-up wing-dings I may borrow?
xxABCD
The Hip Hostess on 05 Jan 2010 at 12:01 pm
Twitter: @TheHipHostess
I have come to the conclusion that in order to make 2010 a Happy Year, I need to make myself happy. To that end I have 3 goals:
Take my business to the next level, and that means being confident and thinking BIG!
Exercise more! Walking isn’t enough. I will actually make an attempt workout to my daughter’s pilates DVDs
Stop feeling guilty about everything & anything. It serves no purpose & only clutters my mind.
So there you have it, my path is clear, I just need to stay on course.
By the way, thank you for this post, it really made me think of how I can make this a happy year!
ABC Dragoo on 05 Jan 2010 at 12:18 pm
Twitter: @abcddesigns
Oh.. The Hip Hostess!
I am so happy that what I said struck a chord with you.
I love your goals – one of mine is to exercise more too – it ups the happy chemicals in your brain which will help make you both happier AND more confidient!
Your Aprons are to die for – I expect to see them on Foodnetwork TV stars everytime I switch on the TV! I have no doubt you’ll be able to take your business to the next level. You’re already a #1 STAR in my book!
As for the guilt bit… Life is short, eat off the good china! Who cares what others think? If you want peanut butter sandwiches off the Vercace China and it makes you happy – why not?
No guilt. Be yourself + people will respond with good favor.
xxabcd
Lisa on 05 Jan 2010 at 1:22 pm
Twitter: @bridalease
Oh dear. As I sit here with a box of tissues – caught a cold from all the cold in NY, I really can’t believe that you mentioned the “Happiness Project”. I received a note about it this morning and to see it again, is like the universe saying “ok, you’ve seen it twice – what ‘cha waiting for?” I completely agree.
What are we waiting for…life continues with or without our participation.
You are an incredibly talented woman (and I know you’re not looking for a pat on the back), with so much to give. Your problem…not enough hours in the day for all your creativity to shine. That is usually the same ‘problem’ all gifted and giving people have, so consider yourself among a unique and special group.
Mr. D will do him…YOU, my dear need to DO YOU. Do you understand? I also understand the flux. It WILL change, it will be AMAZING and you will get your groove back. It hasn’t left, it’s just taking a short vacation. Soon you will have your grounding and your home will be where it is meant to be.
I also know that as much as technology is positive, constantly seeing what others are doing does two things to me:
1 – makes me angry that I didn’t think of it first, which means I’m behind.
2 – makes me concerned that if you aren’t ‘connected’ to the right list/people/thing, that I won’t be noticed.
That won’t change, but what is changing is ME. I had a rough couple of years (yes cancer sucks and treatment while looking for a job it hard) and when I looked up, it was a new decade. I will not, refuse to live the next decade the way I lived the last. I am creating a New Me. I may not be the flashiest, or the loudest…I don’t have to always beat my own drum to be noticed. Solid work, a good product and respect do that for you. What one does need, is the belief in-self and to remember that the tortoise won the race.
So you continue to plug away and dream big dreams (and get those knitting needles out).
Rock 2010 girlfriend and make it the year YOU WANT it to be. The rest, will fall in place – promise.
xo
ABC Dragoo on 05 Jan 2010 at 1:55 pm
Twitter: @abcddesigns
Lisa,
Believe it or not, I really don’t care if I am “noticed” or not. If it (whatever IT is) worth of notice – I am certain it will happen. I just want to live as joyfully as I can with the emotional tools I have.
I feel like I have been pretty even keeled through all the turbulance this year but there are always things I can improve on.
Yesterday, I had coffee with @cluelesscrafter – she and I spoke at length on the subject of “being noticed.” She told me something her father used to say. I hope I do not butcher it, but wrapped up in a bow it was something like: “Don’t waste time what others think of you. Never get such a big head to THINK that anyone even gives a sh*t about you. They don’t.” And then she finished that statement off by saying “Which is really, strangely quite freeing.”
I couldn’t agree more with that sentiment.
Lisa, my dearheart, through your illness (and not to mention other life expierences!) you’ve been granted an opportunity to grow exponentially from where you stand emotionally – even from the point you are today.
I think your story can help others see that even in tough times there are things to be joyful about. But worrying about being noticed or being part of a group – is really not the best use of energy, is it?
I want to use social media as a way to surround myself with real people who inspire me and open my mind to new and beautiful expierences. I am not going to let so “wedding guru” pay rent in my brain by having me worry about weather or not that person is following me back (Or not!)
Her/his loss, right?
xoabcd
P.S. @bridalease Never in a million years to I mean to sound conceded. I just don’t think that creative energy is meant to be squandered on worrying about what others think. How in the world can you be your authentic YOU if you’re always trying to please others?
Lisa on 05 Jan 2010 at 2:37 pm
Twitter: @bridalease
ABSOLUTELY AGREED!
Maggie on 05 Jan 2010 at 4:38 pm
Twitter: @magmaeA
Great post! I think about these things a lot, as so many of the hard logistical truths about my life have been determined in response to someone else’s decisions. That doesn’t seem to jive with my idea of who I am, but it’s true. Our next step, though – should one of our potential cities work out – will be a decision that I’ve inspired, something that happened because of what I wanted for a change. The thought of it is totally empowering and intimidating all at once.
(Of course, should that city not work out, I’ll of course move to the others, too… a spouse’s job in a #2 or #3 city is better than no job at all, right?!)
ABC Dragoo on 05 Jan 2010 at 6:17 pm
Twitter: @abcddesigns
Maggie, again… YEA for you reminding me about silver linings! xx
Denise Cornell on 05 Jan 2010 at 9:43 pm
Twitter: @thompsonpoole
Amy, this post reminded me of something I recently read on Liese Gardner’s blog, Fuel.
June 8, 2009 “…And so we exist right now in what I call the space between. The space between is that moment of silence in a conversation, a rest period between actions, a blank spot on a painted canvas. Yet much more than we imagine is happening in these seemingly empty moments. In fact, we need these moments to refuel ourselves. If we can face them calmly and give them the attention they are due, the space between gives us permission to re-think, re-evaluate, re-adjust, and re-invent everything so we are ready for what comes next. In this regard, silence truly may be golden.”
For this Type A business owner and mother of two young children it’s hard to embrace the “space in between” but I think Liese is onto something. So, I raise my glass to you, hoping you’ll celebrate the silence!
Lydia, Clueless Crafter on 06 Jan 2010 at 9:55 am
Twitter: @Art_Style
So many amazing women here! Amy, you got my father’s sage advice perfectly right. It even feels good on “paper”. Embracing the space between, reveling in the silence. . .now that takes confidence. I’m going for it, Denise!
Cyd on 06 Jan 2010 at 10:00 am
Twitter: @cydconverse
Incredibly inspiring post! 2009 was a year that decidedly did not suck ass for me, however 2008 was the pits. I felt like everything was in limbo and like I’d somewhat lost touch with myself and with where I was going. At that point, my husband and I were still long distance and didn’t know how or where the pieces of the puzzle would fit together. Then even once we were in the same place, I spent months without a meaningful job wondering how I was ever going to find purpose in my life. Low and behold by February of 2009 just about all of that had changed and I can’t even believe how fulfilling my days are now. My suggestion is get knitting. Knit until your tiny little apartment is stacked ceiling-high with scarves and sweaters, but if you focus on the little moments of pure bliss, the rest of your days will start to feel brighter and all of the chaos of uncertainty will start to feel less significant. For me, it was writing. I had to remember that I loved to write and I poured all of my energy into writing and blogging and it got me through and eventually opened doors I didn’t even know existed. At any rate, I’d love to meet up next time I’m in NY for coffee and knitting and flowers and whatever else the day brings us.
xoxo
C
Jenny on 06 Jan 2010 at 3:02 pm
Twitter: @SpryOnTheWall
Great post! Yep, 2009 was awful, but it made me stronger. I love Makeover My Life – so inspiring. I blogged about my goals for 2010 and actually putting them down for the whole world/few people who read my blog to see is scary and inspiring. 2010 is all about finding my way with my career. I too have had to be flexible due to my hubby and now child. So you get knitting! Love your blog!
Jenny
ABC Dragoo on 06 Jan 2010 at 3:10 pm
Twitter: @abcddesigns
Oh jenny – I wish! All of my knitting is in storage in the Bronx! I am completely “set-up” with all the tools, yarn winder, etc… But I can’t bring myself to buy new – with Mr. D out of work – when I already own plenty.
Seems money is best spent on necessities right now, you know?
I agree, writing them out there for others to see is pretty scary – Notice, I really have not said a peep yet!
Here’s 3 cheers for a glorious 2010, Hip-Hip-HOORAY!
xoabcd